Elizabeth McKinnon


My name is Elizabeth Anne Winthrop McKinnon – oh yes, of that Winthrop family. I was born and raised in Queen Anne Hill in Magnolia Bluff and met Walter at college. I was president of my sorority and he was president of his fraternity, and we met at a pagan Greek celebration. When I saw his shoulders in that toga, with that classic face, I knew he was the one. When I first met him, he wanted to work for the District Attorney’s office and prosecute offendors, though I convinced him that it would be better to help write the laws to put those offendors away a longer time, so they couldn’t commit more crimes.

Though I studied the fine arts at school, I have never worked a day in my life. Say, Jemima, would you be a darling and get my guest and I some more of those delicious finger sandwiches? … I know Jemima isn’t her real name, but I can never remember it, and really, who cares? Have you ever heard of a negroid dandelion eater? Even though I do not work, I keep quite busy. Actually I hope this interview isn’t too long, as I have tennis practice with my trainer Rocco this afternoon, and then its high tea with the ladies, a photo opportunity with my husband at the soup kitchen – those people are so nasty, though I hope you don’t print that – and the symphony tonight.

Family? Yes, I have family. My lovely sister Anne Marie lives in Magnolia Bluff with her hardworking husband and their two lovely children. A brother? Yes, you can say I have a brother, but I would rather not talk about him. Yes, my husband has some family, though I try to ignore them at all cost. His brother-in-law tries to annoy me at every opportunity, calling me abhorrent names like Lizzie. He also has a nephew named Charles, who he seems to adore, though is way too pedestrian for me. Plus, with his lovey dovey, flower power, hippy dippyness, I would rather not bother. I met his new fiancee the other day, and she seems like a lovely girl – much better than that Paki one. Children? Me? Who has the time? I suppose we could adopt some day, as long as the child is old enough to care for themselves.

Elizabeth McKinnon

The DV8's angelonio